Well, it is done. The preparations, the planning, the rehearsal, the food, the wedding. Of course I hardly did any of that stuff, but what a great day! Amanda looked like a model on the cover of one of those bride magazines, and Andrew was beaming. They both looked relaxed, confidant and thrilled. The whole thing went off perfectly and at the end of it all, they zipped off into the distance, with bags of Doritos cling-wrapped to their steering wheel. A great time was had by all. What more could one ask?
The night before at the post-rehearsal dinner, Amanda's dad got up and did a great little talk about his hopes for his daughter when she was young and how he was seeing them come to fruition in the about-to-happen wedding. It was very well done and eloquent in that unique Mr. C sort of way, including a full set of PowerPoint slides. Very nice.
I of course, being much more of a grease-monkey type, had nothing prepared. But Mr. C's little talk likening Andrew and Amanda to salt and pepper, each bringing something unique and different yet complimentary and valuable to their families was right on. And it did make me consider how Amanda has come to fit in around here over the last few years.
Like every family does, ours has evolved its own peculiar way of working. While outwardly or in a casual meeting we seem to be a reasonably nice and friendly bunch, we are in truth a bunch of nasty, cynical, nit-picking, wiseguy critics who will take any opportunity to mercilessly tear one-another apart. Nobody around here is allowed the luxury of taking themselves even a little bit too seriously. Not even for a few minutes. It's just how our family works, we all understand it and everybody gets a turn at being the victim, sooner or later. And so it is with anyone who becomes more that a transient guest here (we pick on them after they leave), as they too, before long will have their turn at being teased, picked on and laughed at. So anyone who spends much time here pretty quickly develops thick skin, and learns to lob retaliatory volleys of verbal hand grenades without feeling at all badly about it. It's just understood that this is how we interact and nobody's feelings are hurt.
So when Andrew showed up with this polite, pretty, young girlfriend some years back, we acted all nice and friendly and cheery the first few times she was here. But true to form, it was not long before she was getting picked on, poked fun at, laughed about and teased. Just another part of the family, an honored place, really. And thinking back on all of that, it is amazing to think about how effortlessly she slipped into the routine around here. It is one of those strange situations in life where you can simultaneously feel that something has always been so, while knowing that it is a fairly new thing. And so it is with Amanda. It seems hard to recall a time when Amanda was not around and you are never surprised when you walk in and find her here. For a long time now she has let herself in, helped herself to food, has never been burdensome, and has generally just become part of the fabric of things here. And she has managed all of this while enduring a near ceaseless, years long barrage of comments about being an Eskimo, Bigfoot jokes, computer-dweeb jokes, why-are-you-dicing-up-your-spaghetti questions, and snide lactose intolerance remarks. And more. Well done, dear Amanda. Not everyone makes it through and you made it look easy.
There are all sorts of traditions in various places and cultures to welcome the new spouse of one of your children into one's family. While that is very nice, I guess, I'm not sure I really felt the need to do that. We have found it effortless and natural to love Amanda as much as any of our other kids. In truth, when viewed from a sufficiently large perspective, she has in fact always been part of our family and we only became aware of that fact when it was deemed the proper time for us to know. I'm so glad we found out when we did.
Just don't expect the ribbing to stop. But I'm sure you knew that already.
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