People sometimes REALLY bug me. We have a guy at work who works in another
department that sometimes requires my assistance. I'll call him "BOB". I
don't really mind helping Bob, but it amazes me how much this guy can get
on my nerves without even trying. I'm really pretty easy to get along with,
and I tolerate most people. I'm reasonably diplomatic. But this guy irks me,
just by being him. It's strange. He really is not a bad guy, he's honest and
tries to do his job well. He is generally in a good mood and says "please" and
"thanks for you help". He is likable. And in spite of the fact that he tends to
use way too many unnecessary four letter words, I actually like the guy, but am
somehow gripped by the urge to punch him in the head. I thought about this a bit,
and have come to the conclusion that is a compounding of small annoyances that
somehow add up to an irritation factor that is much larger than the sum of the parts.
First off, he seems to never NOT be wearing some article of clothing with a Red Sox
logo on it. He walks too fast with this sort of swagger that would suggest that
he is wearing oversize snowshoes on his feet. He constantly bounces on his toes
while swiveling at the waist when he it talking to you. He speaks like he has a
giant wad of gum in his mouth, even when he doesn't. And worst of all, he insists
on pursuing lines of conversation that you have no interest in, knowledge of, or
opinion on. He often tries to get me to talk baseball with him. I tell him
(yet again) that I don't follow baseball. I doesn't even slow him down. He asks
my opinion of people I don't know. I tell him that, and he replies with, "but you
must have heard of..." ARRRHHHHH!!

This is all bugging me because today he assaulted me with one of the most inane
discussions I have been party to in a long time. I am minding my own business,
sitting at my desk working. My office is located in the exact corner of the
building. I am the only one in it. Nobody comes to my office "just passing by", you
have to actually "go there". Bob appears in my door way situated such that
to leave, I would have to push him out of the way.

I'm trapped.

"So, ahhh, Al..."
"Hi Bob, what' up?"
With a big smile on his face, Bob starts with "Yeah, so whatta-ya think about this
Tom Brady thing, huh?"
Expecting a work-type question, this is enough out of context that I have no idea
who he is talking about, all I can muster is "Ummmm, Tom Brady?"
"Yeah, you know, from da Pats. Quarterback..."
"Oh, that Tom Brady. What about him?"
"Yeah, well his ex-girlfriend is pregnant."
"So?"
"Yeah, well, ahhh, what daya think about that, it's something, huh?"
Hoping to explain, I come back with "Not really to me. I'm not his buddy or anything.
If he vanished off the face of the earth today I guess it would be pretty sad for
his mom, but it wouldn't effect me one bit."
"Yeah, well right. I know what it is!"
"You do? What what is?"
"You're jealous!"
"I am? Of what?"
"Brady. Your jealous. He's dating that Giselle!"
Feeling clever while simultaneously fighting the urge to punch Bob in the head, I
answer "He's dating an antelope with twisty horns?"
My attempt at humor sails far over his head. Bouncing on his toes while swiveling,
Bob shoots back "HA! No, she's a German supermodel! You know, Giselle!!"
"No kidding?! Well I honestly don't know her either. So I don't really care."
"Yeah, but whatdaya think, I mean he's seeing Giselle and his Ex that he broke up
with a few months back is pregnant!"
"Well, OK, if I must think something, I think that Tom is just another too-rich
idiot that is bringing another screwed-up fatherless kid into the world. Hardly what
the world needs right now."
"Ha, yeah. You're jealous!" he says, swaggering off.



Yeah Bob, that's it.