Friday, March 07, 2008
And speaking of ducks and clowns...
Last Saturday, Sue and I attended a banquet held to benefit Ducks Unlimited, a real conservation organization, that was held at a nice hotel function hall out in leominster. We attended with a couple of my hunting buddies along with their wives. There was great food, lots of raffle type stuff, and a fund raising auction that featured folks bidding (often many) hundreds of dollars for things like tiny carved wooden chickadees and paintings of dogs. People really dig deep into their wallets to help out the ducks. All in all, a fun time, with the slight exception of three guys who happened to get seated at our table with us. They were all related, cousins or something, and as the night wore on and the number of empty wine glasses and beer bottles grew around them, the more obnoxious they became. And the more foul (not "fowl" heh...) their language got. Even when they were asked to tone it down, there being women at the table, it only grew worse. In truth, it was largely 2 of them, the third who was apparently the designated driver and thus considerably less intoxicated, even suggested they knock it off. He seemed a bit embarrassed when they really didn't. Anyhow, in spite of their annoying-ness, they did provide a bit of entertainment when the auction started. As they were quite drunk by that time, they started bidding on and winning all sorts of stuff. One of them managed to buy an office chair (black fake leather with the DU logo embroidered in the back) for 400 bucks(!). He then rolled his new chair over to our table, sat in it, and declared that it "sort of sucked." What an idiot. It got better when they auctioned off one of the last items on the list. It was a book printed in the 1950's, a coffee table type thing about duck decoys, paired with an antique style DU sign of some sort, made to look old but clearly described as a modern reproduction. Once the bidding started, chair-guy started popping his hand up, upping the bid until he finally won them, for a bit over 100 dollars. He went up and collected his book and sign, returned to the table, took a look at the sign and exclaimed: "Hey! this isn't even OLD!, It's a FAKE!!" His buddies all looked in amazement, just as shocked as he was. We all looked at each other and laughed. The real topper came when the evening ended (and they had dropped easily over $1000.00 on stuff), they piled all of their winnings on the office chair, and staggered out, rolling it out towards the front door. A few minutes later, our group walked out, and there in the cold on the front walk of the hotel is one of the three, waiting for the other two to bring the car so that they could load their loot. On the office chair is one of the duck decoys that he had paid maybe 100 dollars for. He had dropped it off the chair rolling it over the little hump at the door threshold. It's head was broken off and shattered. Heh.

The next morning, I woke up as sick as a proverbial dog. Sue took a look at me and said, "You don't look so well, but I'll bet you feel better than those guys at the banquet feel this morning."
thus voiced The A, Mistah @ 6:02 PM
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