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Wednesday, August 30, 2006
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Ruminations on finding a mate...
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Mrs. A and I went out to the local Barnes & Noble bookstore last night. After spending some time there, we paid for our stuff, and headed out the door. As we left, Sue noted that the bookstore seemed to be something of a "spot", meaning a place where people go just to hang around, be seen, and perhaps meet people. Sort of like a nightclub for dweebs, I suppose. (Before you say anything, yeah, I know we were there...) I had noticed the same thing, and opined that it is not really a bad place for such activity, as one would likely meet an entirely different sort of person than you would at a bar or whatever. It also offered one the oppurtunity, with some careful observation, to discern who you might be dealing with before you even spoke to them. The theory is that by noting the sections of the store and the books that someone is perusing, you could gather some very useful info. Some of this is pretty straightforward; if you like golf, a person checking out the golf books would offer readymade ice-breakers and some common interest. But the more we talked about it, the more it became obvious that the technique is much more subtle than that, and in that subtility lies great power. Some general guidelines:
-Any guy looking to meet women would be well advised to avoid any that are spending much time in the "Women's Studies" or "Feminist Poetry" sections.
-Those of us who have "conservative" political leanings should not waste any time on someone toting a Michael Moore box-set. The same principle applies for liberals and Rush Limbaugh.
-Avoid anyone of either gender who is spending an inordinate amount of time in the "relationships" aisle. (Interesting observation - the B&N store we were at had over 3 aisles in that catagory. Not a sign of a healthy society, I suspect)
-If someone seems engrossed in the "self-help" section, tread lightly. On one hand, they may actually be trying to improve themselves, and you may have stumbled upon a real diamond-in-the-rough. Far more likely is that they are toting a freight-car of smelly, louse-ridden emotional baggage, that they will prompty dump on you. They are likely hoping to help themselves mostly because everybody else that has tried has either given up, or died in the attempt. (You have been warned).
-Women, a man in the "cookbook" section could be very promising, however avoid any man that appears to be past 20 years old who is buying "Chicken for Dummies."
-Men reading grooming and/or manicure books are to be dismissed without hesitation.
-Be careful with anyone buying lots of medical books. They could be medical or nursing students (good!) but on the other hand they may be hypocondriacs or worse, one of those "Munchausen Syndrome" people that will smother you in your sleep, just so that they can be the one to call 911 (bad!).
You get the idea. So with those handy guidelines in mind, we turn the floor over to the vast readership of Fetafilter; in which section of the bookstore would YOU go looking for the perfect mate? Hmmmm?
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thus voiced The A, Mistah @ 9:30 PM
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