No doubt you have all seen or heard about this idiot who decided to commit suicide by parking his car on the commuter rail tracks in hopes that the train would kill him.Then he loses his nerve, jumps out of the car and leaves it on the tracks. The train hits it, derailing 2 trains and killing 11 people and injuring over 150 others. What a jerk.
A discussion cropped up today amongst some of my coworkers about what should be done with this guy, now that he is in custody. The opinions fell along fairly predictable lines, from "String the scum up!" to "Chinese water torture" to "The guy is sick, he needs treatment..." blah, blah, blah. Executiing the guy seems too simple, as he was hoping to die anyhow. It is also obvious that this is not the act of a sane person, yet that does not absolve him of the responsability for this horrible crime. So I struck upon an innovative solotion. The guy is definatly sick. So treat him. Therapy, prozac, self-esteem training, MathLand, whatever it takes. When he is deemed sane, stable and well, we appoint him to be a UN Special Envoy, complete with an arm patch and a bold red, white and blue shirt. Then we tatoo across his forehead "Mohammed was a homosexual" in arabic, and drop him off in Takrit.